Most of you probably recognize the above to be the title of an Elton John / Bernie Taupin ballad from the mid 70’s, but to me it is an apt description of a seemingly universal truth – one which often undermines the most determined effort to resolve disputes, whether in the world of litigated claims or personal relationships. The aversion so many people have to offering an apology, expressing remorse or even acknowledging another’s pain often proves to be a major obstacle to the resolution of disputes.
Where liability is undisputed, a simple apology – offered with the utmost sincerity – can be a powerful tool and an exceptionally effective way to earn the respect and forgiveness of the opposing party, often planting the seeds for much more fruitful negotiations concerning the issues that remain, whether the value of a claim, the nature and scope of remedial measures to be undertaken or any other issue yet to be resolved.
Even when liability is contested, the willingness to say “I’m so sorry for your loss” to a grieving spouse in a medical malpractice action, or “I’m sorry I found it necessary to dissolve our partnership” to a disgruntled former business partner, or “you were always a valued employee and we regret we couldn’t find a position for you once we realized we had to downsize” to the plaintiff in a wrongful termination suit may prove to be the difference between continued hostilities and the ability to find a peaceful resolution.
Though most of us find it hard to say “I’m sorry,” taking a moment to do so will almost always make it easier to work things out.
As always, it would be my pleasure to assist you and your clients in the dispute resolution process. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if I can be of service.
Best regards,
Floyd J. Siegal
fjs@fjsmediation.com